The beginning of 2010 saw a rumour surface online about the prospect of a return for The Crystal Maze with Amanda Holden taking up Richard O’Brien’s mad mad mantle. For a while this went on to be a tantalising prospect, but it didn’t come to pass in the end.
The amazing news that The Crystal Maze could be returning to our tellies had us all at Tuppence HQ waiting with baited breath for more info. Firstly, who had they got in mind to replace the smack-eye-crazy Richard O’Brien’s maze master character and his follow-up act, the mad-as-a-box-of-poisonous-tree-frogs, Ed Tudor-Pole?
Maybe they were dusting off Timmy Mallet, who’s been in storage at ITV Archives since the dark and sad end of Wacaday in 1992, or perhaps wild-eyed former Dr Who, David Tennant might be earmarked for the role (scalp him and he’s a definite O’Brien lookalike). Neither of these genuinely genius options were in the frame though. The truth is that the role of maze master looked like it was going to go to Amanda Holden, which was a bit of an anti-climactic rumour.
For us, the only way that this could have worked on any level is if they shave her head with a Bic razor, dressed her up in a khaki military outfit from the Carry On Up The Kyber/It Aint Half Hot Mum costume basket and get her hen do-wasted on Babysham before each and every show.
However, despite that aspect of the rumour, we were still sort of looking forward to the possibility of a return to the maze. If it retains any of the old school genius then it could have been worth a watch every now and again.
In all fairness, it used to be ace, the rooms were brilliant and the thought of being trapped in a room for the remainder of the shows used to instill genuine terror in the contestants as they grappled across perilous swing bridges to get the crystal and get out of the room before the timer ran out.
The word is that the new format could have celebs as its puzzlers and you know that means Dean Gaffney, looking glum and sitting in a locked room for half an hour. Who doesn’t want to see that in the not too distant future.
No air date had been released with the rumours, and it was a bit weird that the show was said to be heading to ITV. However, in the end, it never did get to start the ruddy fans and the rumours ended up being just that.
However, The Crystal Maze remake did eventually come to pass on its ancestral home of Channel 4 for Stand Up To Cancer in 2016 with Stephen Merchant in the role for the one-off show. Thanks to his part in Logan, he also had a scalped head and looked like a pretty close relative to Richard O’Brien.
It was then picked up for a full series in 2017 with Richard Ayoude taking over as the cane wielding maze master.
