There goes our dignity!
It’s bad news I tells you. Danielle Craig’s James Bond antics along with football softies Christiano Ronaldo and Didier Drogba sporting Speedo style tighty trunks on the front cover of Vanity Fair (possibly to improve their diving technique) has cursed the rest of us to follow suit. Women’s response to such objectification of men can also take some of the blame.
When I was younger I was daft enough to give the Speedo a chance in terms of my swimsuit of choice, but in all fairness I was young and impressionable at the time, so I can’t really be blamed. The moment of realisation came when the material started to thin around my arse cheeks and they transformed from a harmless mistake into one step away from short, bottomless chaps. Not good.
However, with news that online searches and high street sales for the lunchbox huggers is on the up at unprecedented rates, it looks like we’re all doomed to either dust out old remnants, or get ourselves on the trunk bandwagon.
For anybody that wants to make a stand I recommend going with the whole-body red and white hooped onesy that was popular in the late 19th century. Let’s see those brazen pervy lasses ogle your cod piece in one of those. For anybody that wants to take the short and tightie plunge, check out these Speedo options.
